Bitterhappy

From now on, I will be on my own. I will not rely on my friends or peers. I am invaluable to them. I am often disregarded and just a friend that is often in the stash. Anyway, I’m just a wallflower. Even if I’m gone or away from them, I am sure I will not be a great loss for them.

It’s just sad becoming a wallflower and just be manipulated and used when they needed me. I am not that stupid, it’s just stupid to have a friend you trusted treat you like this. Why should hypocrites be created? They are just bunch of trash in this world. Useless craps living in the surface of the earth.

If these people only knew how sad it is doing and working things alone. When support is needed and no one is there for me, I feel powerless, lifeless. It’s silly to depend on others, but it’s only when I needed them the most. They can depend on me and rest assured that my hands are willing to help them. When I need them, and one small favor is asked thay can’t even make it. How sad it is living like me.

I don’t need friends who will just manipulate me. I don’t need people who can’t do small easy favors for me. If all friends and people are like these, forget it, I rather live alone than sparing my life in hell with them.

From now on, I am alone. I don’t care if it’s lonely, I can be happy and celebrate in my own ways.

Life is sad living alone but that doesn’t hinders me from being happy.

Boiling Point

I am still infuriated up to this time. I know it’s quite late to still be mad but it’s still in my head. Just don’t ask why, what, when, who and how it happened. I will not even answer it and I will not elaborate on that thing. I just reached my boiling point this early morning, and it’s almost midnight now but the thought is stuck right in my brain. I hate what’s happening. I don’t like this. I don’t want to be mad, but it happened. I don’t want to think about it anymore, it’s really disturbing and uncomfortable. I wish this doesn’t happen and will never ever be repeating.. No more please. I don’t want to think of it. I want to rest my mind, clear my head and relax in my bed.

That’s all I have to do now. Darn it. Get off my head. Get off my brain.

No Easy Money

I want to be rich! Well who doesn’t. Everyone aspires to have a taste of those treasures. Everybody want to have a lick of having their own business and the luxury of life. It’s inevitable to be materialistic sometimes.

Most of us Filipinos, who suffer from poverty, want to get rich. We strive to bet daily on the lottery or sweepstakes. We even put a stake on small gamblings like jueteng, OTB’s and others. Gambling is unreliable to get rich and to put you off the ground. Though, it will give one a chance winning an ‘easy’ money, it is not easy at all. The probability of winning in lottery for 6/49 is one in 14 million. Imagine that, even with a 100 peso bet (bet is 10 pesos each) will not do any good; small chance of winning.

If one want to get rich, betting or gambling is not the solution. Not even by joining game shows or contests in variety shows. These TV shows may say they are offering a big help for our poor nation, but they are just giving false hopes and sending the message to be lazy to the masses. They still select the qualifiers for their contests, just like how the numbers in lotto are picked by their machine. Little chances.

I do hope that someday that these people will wake up from their foolishness. Get their butt off the seats and start working for that hard-earned cash. Not all may not become rich, but at least they are doing something for themselves and not just slacking in front of the television waiting for their name to be drawn out of that tambiolo. Worse, they are expecting to become rich without joining, sending or betting those gambles shown in the idiot box.

Wake up people! It’s not the government’s fault if we are poor. They may be corrupt, but what is it to you if you are just sitting, whining and protesting around. If you want to have a better life move out of your home and start to work hard and forget the politicians bickering. Not even Kris Aquino, Willie Revillame, or Vic Sotto, or even the PCSO will make you rich. Those people will not help you in the progress of your life. It’s really up to you.

No one will move up if laziness attacks any of your feet.

When Peanut Butter Lost its Flavor

Peanut butter. That’s my favorite sandwich spread. The nuttiness and sweetness of the spread satisfied my late afternoon merienda. The spread was so smooth and even dripping down my hands as I gently swallow the sandwich. It was yummy. I could even put as much as many peanut butter in my sandwich and be amazed how it flows outside as I pressed it between the slices of the bread. Encased in a large jar I can say that eating peanut butter sandwich can be done daily. But that’s boring; nauseating. Feasting on the same meal is not fun at all.

I have been working in this company for more than a year now. And I must say, I am enjoying my stay here. My co-workers have been good to me and they are fun to work with. I love each second of my stay here, the stress, the workloads, everything. Even with the small salary I get every payday doesn’t mind me because I am in love with the company. But as time goes, each of my co-workers were leaving the company – don’t get it wrong, they love the company – because they have better opportunities outside our small office. Things were even okay even after they left the office. Just lately, something has gone wrong. We are receiving less projects, and worse, there are days or even weeks that we are just hanging around in the office just to surf the net. We are doing nothing.

For some, slacking in the office is great, but doing nothing every single day is not fun at all. Staying at home is better. The office becomes boring as each day progress.

I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of doing nothing.

I refused to take the jobs offered by my friends. I was having fun with my job. They were offering better paying jobs, but I declined it. I thought things were still going fine in the company, but I was wrong. Another reason why I was declining their offer because I don’t want to be redundant. I want to work in a higher position. Ambitious, I know, but it’s time to move a step further. Working in a different company with a higher wage but in the same position beats me. I don’t like that idea. Risky I must say, but life is memorable with that.

I don’t want to eat the same peanut butter sandwich each day. I love it. But I don’t want to get used to its taste. I need surprises. There’s no surprise with peanut butter if I will be eating it over and over again.

Peanut butter oozed out the sandwich. It fell down the wooden surface of the table. I stared at it. Peanut butter looked like poop.