Skip navigation

Monthly Archives: April 2007

Internet is intermittent again this morning here in the office. Nose is now running nasal juices and germs are spreading as my mouth blows explosive sneezes that can demolish the whole building. It’s getting uncomfortable. Uncomfortable situations triggers my allergy. Allergy causes me to sneeze thousand times before it will halt. Therefore, uncomfortable events make me sneeze.

There were also uncomfortable cases that didn’t trigger my allergy. No, not that Friday night out with co-bloggers, I didn’t even sweat on it. My revelations were no biggie at all, and I guess all else who were left that morning on that table were dissatisfied with my answers. I can even blog about my leakage, but because of my respect with our contract about those unbloggables, I will not write about it.

Maybe I was unloved for many years, but I never said I didn’t have any relationships before. Like a fling, but they were less than that. Past affairs were intangible, partners’ identities were anonymous. Is it possible to fall for them? I’m doubtful about that.

First encounter with this affair was aeons ago. It staged back when the primitive black idiot box introduced Link TV— a mobile chatroom in the cable boobtube, which costs 2.50 pesos-per-text of my 300-peso load in my cellphone. I got hooked and I became member of my clan not minding how much I spend with every chat I post in that chatroom. There I met a girl, we threw messages on the airwaves to each other until we both have our own landline numbers. Smokes came out of our ears as we talk endlessly on the phone and degree burns on our fingers from texting vigorously on that classic monotoned phone.

Until one night, she made a move, she courted me. Laughter rumbled across the room and disbelief ran in my head continuously asking her “Are you serious?”. She was. Loving someone anonymous is not accepted by my system, fling is more tolerable term in our heads. So fling it was, but I was still laughing my heart out when she asked me to be his boyfriend. Week after, an eyeball meeting was suddenly came to the founders, and being one of the active members, I gave them the venue and date. All else agreed to meet in Shangri-La Mall, but with all having a “check operator” status on their mobiles, meeting was difficult for us. There I met my not-anonymous-anymore fling partner. Petite and fair skinned young girl, but our chemistry didn’t blend well. We lasted for a week… on the phone.

Then came college, got several crushes in our campus, but none of them became a prospect or at least a potential partner. A childhood friend came to me and he gave me a possible girlfriend. We were both introduced — thanks to the technology of phone party conference — with faces hiding behind the wires of the telephone. Luckily, we had friendster accounts, the sad thing is, I had a picture all over my profile, while she used images that was not hers. She was still anonymous to me. We burned our ears and wasted saliva with the phone’s handset. Talks ranged from wholesome to sensual, we got close, but only phone pals. Pressured by my friend and her peers teasing us and linking to each other as if we are showbiz personalities she came into a gameplan. Pretend as lovers, we both agreed on it. My friend and their peers fell for it. The gameplan was successful indeed, and everything went well. The plan lasted for a month and concluded by her dumping me. We were one month lovers but our eyes never met personally. With her, I first experienced a sensual phone talk. Removing it off my head would not be that easy. Details? Forget it!

I never loved before, but it didn’t necessarily mean I never had any affairs. Will those affairs count? I guess not.

Unfortunately, there were no physical affairs to tell. None at the moment. Wait for it, it will be a wild one.


Late again for work, there’s nothing new there, this habit has been often these days. Waking at 7:30am is not really that bad for me to get late, knowing that I’m just 15 minutes away from work. I could have arrived at work early and with no deductions in my payslip. But here I am, tardy again. Darn!

This morning, my attention was lured by the irresistible charm of my cuddly going 2 years old niece. She is inquisitive and intelligent but with a recklessness of a boy. A tomboy, but definitely not a lesbo, she’s too young to be distincted to that. Our steel gates became trees as she climbed to the rills, the foam they used last night became her pool as she dived, tumbled and swam through the seas of pillows.

Her curiosity with every object she holds by her hand amazed me. Once she holds an item that her little brain can’t identify, she will ask “Ito?“. And when explaining or telling a story to this adorable cuddly child, she will reply “Oh?” like saying “Then?”. As if this kid really understands every word, while in her head everything said is just a blur of thoughts and events. I guess her inquisitiveness will bring her success someday. Maybe she will become a gossip writer or replace the throne of Cristy Fermin.

My reckless inquisitive niece attracted me to stay home a bit longer before going to the office. So here I am again, tardy in my timecard. It will be deducted again to my salary – which I hope to be given today. Pity.

There’s a booze night out with fellow bloggers tonight and my pockets are running low with cash. I hope we’ll receive our payslip and salary today so I can splurge a little and truly enjoy tonight. I’m not worrying about being late, it’s a night out and punctuality is not that important. Unless I arrive too late when alcohol already consumed their brain and all else are sleeping on their bed… or perhaps, the patio to their house, worse, on the floor of EDSA Shrine soaked with their own vomit.

It’s really cute to see pets of different species cuddle and play with each other. Animals that have feelings and cares for another who’s fur is different from theirs. A tiger cub being breast fed by a dog, cow caressed by a swine, or a dog taking care of a cat. They are everywhere here in the net, and even seen in a small part of the daily news to be a breather from terrible current events. Well as for my pets, a cat and a dog, they are different. Very different. There’s too much love from those pesky pets.

Olympus, our mini pinscher, really loves our cat, Nokia. That is if I can really say that’s love, but I think, it’s really more of an obsession than just love. This dog has the hots for this cat. He would approach the assailable cat, smell it’s fur, lick it’s ears and would suddenly get on the back then start humping on the pity feline.

Nokia will then purr and meows loudly calling our attention immediately. Alerted with the situation, I will go to the scene, hold my breath, tighten my nerves and shout with a godly tone on the horny miniature dog,

Hoy Olympus!” or
“Olympus Noo!” or
“Olympus, ano baa?!”

Threatened with my godly voice, Olympus will jump off the almost raped cat and will run all over our house wildly. While the cat hops on the leathered bench and starts scratching on it. Their actions are really disturbing, if they will fight just like normal cats and dogs I will not be annoyed that much. Seeing a cat raped by a sex-driven dog, that’s really boggling.

What’s terrible with this, our cat, Nokia, is male.

Squirting and gushing blood, it’s a vampire’s wet dream. I am no vampire but seeing my finger bleeding profusely for the first time made me thirsty for my own blood. But of course, I would not suck my own blood from my finger, I need a first aid.

I was almost done with the household chores – which I’m doing now for a few days now because of being alone – when I decided to eat my breakfast. Cheese sandwich was what I thought to have this morning, so I grab the cheddar cheese from the freezer and a knife. Cutting through the frozen cheese was so hard for me and with the knife. I went back to the kitchen and got the steak knife instead.

Steak knife was definitely better, but the cheese was frozen hard. The knife also had a hard time getting through the cheese, I put my left hand below it to give it a harder thrust. It went through, but I guess my thrust was too hard; I cut my left index finger. It was bleeding profusely. I went to the kitchen sink, opened the faucet and washed the gushing blood off my finger. Blood ran like river off my index finger as the water poured on it.

Suddenly, the ever wrong-timing garbage collector arrived to get our daily house trash. I rushed to get the trash bag off the garbage can and gave it to them. It was also Sunday, I paid them the their weekly collection. I dripped my blood on the floor, I mopped them afterwards. My mind was screaming, “Where’s the Band-Aid?! Where’s the band aid?.” I got the plaster from the medicine box and saddle it on the wounded bleeding index finger. At last, it stopped.

I went back to the dining table, and ate the cheese sandwich I prepared. The sandwich that made me scatter my blood all over the house.

I should have collected all my blood then to make dinuguan for my lunch or stored it in a plastic bag and donated it to the Philippine Red Cross.

All I really wanna say
I can’t say it’s love I need
But my soul will have to wait till I get back and find
heina of my own
Lyrics from Santeria by Sublime

That song keeps on repeating around my head. My brain is humming it’s melody and my mouth can’t stop singing that song. I heard that song often at NU 107 but I really didn’t bother much of that song until I attended the last night of 6 Underground in Makati. After every band’s performance they would play Santeria, and you could even hear the crowd singing it.

I downloaded it through Limewire and added that song and other singles from Sublime to my 3gb of music files. The song is really great, I’m now hooked and addicted listening, humming and singing it on top of my lungs. Santeria is a reggae-ish song, just great for summer vibe.

I just found out the definitions for some of the words they used here in their lyrics. Heina is a carribean term for girlfriend and Sancho/Sanchito is for the other man, or more distinguishable as the third party. That makes this song to be about an ex-boyfriend wanting revenge for a sancho who stole his girlfriend. So this one is not really intended for me?

But then, I found the lyrics – the one above – to be relatable to me. I don’t need love but a girlfriend of my soul. Woah, that’s mushy!

I guess I better be off to find my heina, before that sanchito grab and take her away from my life. My dad don’t have a .45 to kill that sanchito if ever he arrives.

Now, where should I start finding for my heina?

My grandmother’s loss brought me into a home of loneliness. My mom and my cousin left to Aparri for the wake and burial of my beloved Mamang. Now here I am, alone at home. I filed a 2-day vacation leave at work because I should also be joining them in Apparri. But because my dad will be alone at home, I choose to be left here at home to manage the chores and guard our house. My dad arrives at night so the rest of the day, the house is mine.

My eyes opened in darkness as dawn still ruled the early hours. I had just a few hours of sleep so I still tried to catch those z’s. None of those z’s came, instead, x’s arrived in my head.

I risen by 7am and washed the laundry and finished the household chores. All done by 10am. What else should I do? None, except absorb the warmth of the extreme summer heat. I played No One Lives Forever 2 here in my PC. At lunch, I ate a replay of our dinner last night, longganisa and mackerel. Mid-day, it was a horrific boredom and terrible combusting weather. Tried to get a nap but hindrances were all over the places. Then night came, I bought a peppery chicken adobo at the nearby carinderia. And the rest of the night, here in front of the PC and blogging.

I am alone now, I should be happy because I could do everything I want. I could roam the house barenaked and rollover the floor. I could have a porn galore or jerk many times in every corners of our house. But somehow, I didn’t choose to (or somehow did).

This house is mine for now. There are still days to come. I should come up an idea to somehow enjoy the boredom here at home.