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Monthly Archives: July 2005

I’m broke, but not entirely broke. i’m worrying about my budget  coz’ I don’t know if it will fit ’till next week. So I have to save my money and cut my expenses for my meals, but I can’t cut my allowance for my transportation which is about Php 86.00 per day. No more afternoon breaks… No, can’t do that, except if I have this stomachaches. Crinkles and Coffee, for coffee breaks is already a luxury for me, it has great combination, like doughnuts and coffee, but this time only cheaper.

Yesterday…
I woke up at 7:10AM, there’s no more time to prepare or cook for breakfast, so just drank a cup of coffee and hurried to the shower or else I will be late. My routine finished at 8:15AM and rode the way to the office, there’s no way I could be late to the office after the memorandum was posted yesterday regarding the office attendance and about our starting habitual tardiness. Damn that new rule that our salary will be deducted for our tardiness yet offsetting and overtime is not implemented or accepted. As the jeepney travels to the expressway on the way to Alabang, the traffic suddenly got heavy after the Bicutan Exit. The traffic reched up to Sucat, so I stayed in the road for about 20 minutes. During those 20 minutes, there’s a mother and child sitting in front of me, the baby was almost two years old, I guess, and had a bruise on her face, which was actually a skin defect. I just thought "Poor kid." The kid was so playful (makulit) so everytime the mother would scold her, the child cries. The cries was really annoying and disrupted my morning.

At dusk, before I went home I headed to Alabang Town Center to look for a sticker that I can put on my keyboard at home. My keyboard’s letters start to fade especially the left part (A,S,D,W) of it because I use those keys for my games like Grand Theft Auto and Need for Speed Undergrond 2. I didn’t find any, so then, I preceded to Metropolis immediately because I still had these hygiene items to buy there. Afterwards, I rode the jeepney. There’s a man who sitted beside me, he got his cellphone, 3200, and played BOUNCE, a Nokia cellphone game. I was watching him play the game but I was laughing inside me because he was jerking to the way of the ball, just like what we usually do when playing arcade games. Nothing really funny there coz’ I do that also when I’m playing Need for Speed on my PC, but the funny thing there, it’s just a cellphone game and I can feel his jerking since he sitted just beside me. Maybe his adrenaline rushed as he played Bounce. The jeep went down the skyway and another heavy traffic appeared in front of us. There was a fire on the way to Magallanes so the jeepney backed up again to the skyway so we could avoid the traffic. The guy beside me got bored with his game so he played all his tones from his cellphones folder. He conquered his boredom with his small almighty cellphone.

Lesson here…

1.    Traffic is never excuse for becoming late, but one thing is, traffic is really annoying.
2.   Playing cellphone games is fun, but moving with the game is funny especially for those who sees        you.

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I woke up this morning in a terrible mood; tantrums as what they call it. I slept the night before and woke the morning still thinking about my job, maybe that’s why I have this tantrums today. And I have this stomachache that bothers me a lot, "a lot of thinking" I thought.

I am bothered by the current situation of our company, after hearing the new rules to be implemented next month, and a possible closure of the company I am in. I predicted this before, and now I guess it’s happening. I hope not. Jay and I were just talking about it yesterday during our lunchbreak, Jay asked "Do you think our company will stay long?" then I replied, "Countdown!" I paused. "How many months? Do you want to bet on it?" I told him. Then after lunch we went to the office and had a meeting with Ellen, she discussed the forthcoming rules and that there is a possibility that our company will be closed for a certain reason (I don’t want to go into details) and we may be absorbed by the sister company if our performance would go better.

These talks and upcoming events bothers me a lot. I always wanted to move on a different career. I was afraid to move on earlier because I have this life insurance to pay, I was afraid to lose it so I stayed here. I was in a cloud nine last week, I had a lot of optimistic thoughts but this week desperations eats my whole body. I have this tantrums and stomachaches with me. My thoughts of moving on in a better career begins to start again. I have qualms. I have doubts. I don’t want to decide quickly because I may regret it afterwards, though regrets is not in my vocabulary. If opportunity knocks for sure, I will grab it firmly. That chance is what I’m waiting for… or that chance is waiting for me…

Njlb  There’s a project at work, but I still find time to surf the net whenever I go blank and most especially if the boss is out. While chatting with Anthony, Madz, and Ethel, I also look for websites that appeals my interest and when I experience burnout to entertain and get some inspirations. Surfing the net is what I do for the past six years in my life so I’ve seen so many websites that I get bored nowadays because I’ve seen most of them. But there are times that I found new things here in the internet. I found these websites that promotes short alternative films. I found Ninjai, a series of a little ninja boy. It is a flash animation; the illustration for this animation is not aesthetically great, as for other elements like the backgrounds, BGM, color flats and most particularly the storyline are stunning. This is a great alternative for the pop cartoons and emerging culture of Japanese anime. If you’re tired o f those obnoxious animals, fairytale creatures, and big-eyed superheroes, you may try to watch Ninjai at www.ninjai.com. I admired Ninjai because its concept is purely original and its creators’ main purpose is not to make this animation as an entertainment but as an artistic expression or simply to say, nothing. This series is artistically and creatively expressive not mentioning its arising popularity. Another popular alternative is Happy Tree Friends, a radical cartoon of cute cuddly bloody creatures. If you think Spongebob is dumb and foolish, this one is morbid and gore. Happy Tree Friends was introduced to me by Marco, through the CD I borrowed from him. I found this cartoon really funny because it appeals people at my age. I shared all these cartoons to my officemates and they were really entertained. When I play these animations all eyes and all ears are to these animations.

798These cartoons I told you show gore and violence, for me these are only for pure fun and entertainment. I get tired of the popular culture now; though I still appreciate it I still look for something new and different. I’m tired of watching movies featuring gorgeous protagonists, and listening to music what we call alternatives that become popular eradicating the true essence of being an “alternative.” Per se, Rivermaya has gone mainstream to the pop culture and lost itself from becoming an alternative music. TV shows and dramas that shares the same storylines even if they say that their stories are unique. Alternatives should retain their uniqueness from others, once it becomes popular and famous its essence is entirely lost. Artistic expression is always unique to the eye. If you’re looking for alternatives, make sure to change and be open to something new, constant shifting from what you like does it great. Choosing for an alternative is the best way to broaden what we know.

“If everybody is super, no one will be.”

It’s been two days and I still have a hangover from the movie we watched last Friday; Fantastic Four. I guess I have one of those FFF, Fantastic Four Fever. Well, the movie was really great, though have flaws, I think it was still fun to watch. Watching superhero movies is really fascinating because before you are only seeing them through those comics and cartoons, but now they are on the big screen, you feel they are alive especially with what visuals can do nowadays.

The Politics, the Elites… and the Plastics

Last Friday, there was a rally in Makati that made me worry because we had a gimmick on that night. Luckily that night, it seemed nothing happened in Makati, the roads were clear and Friday Night was really normal. The politics in the Philippines is struggling to survive, after those Garci tapes and the President’s admitting that it was her voice in the tapes. And now she asked her cabinet members to resign, and they did, then afterwards she said that she was betrayed. I don’t really give a damn with our country’s politics, but as part of the country, I am greatly affected. The side effects of this endless bickering in the politics are now felt greatly by the nations. Why don’t they just shut up and give a damn for the good of the people.

After watching Fantastic Four that night, we went to Greenbelt to have a chit-chat and girl-gazing. As we go to Mcdonald’s Greenbelt, we passed by the bars where most elites, expats and social climbers hangouts. I didn’t like the ambiance there, and felt a little tensed. I terribly hate elites, the way they look down on other people, the way they underestimate people that don’t belong to their echelon. I always wanted to be rich and have all the luxuries in life, but I never wanted those material things to get over my head and act like I never experienced the hardships in life; I don’t want to be an elite. Generally, plastics came from what we called elites in our society, making me recall my high school experience. I had a bad experience from these plastics, though they were not elites,  very especially during high school. I had been in this class where plastics were everywhere. Forgive me if I offend some of you reading this (and I guess you know who you are), but admit it, you used to be one of those plastics. I knew how these people act behind other people and their friends. If they say this was before and that was a childish behavior, yes it was, but as long they possess this, they will remain a plastic.

To conclude this…
Politicians and The Elites are the same, they are people who are able to become hypocrites, generally if not all. They can betray our trust and their loyalty can not be relied on. We must be aware that these people are present in today’s society, agree or disagree, we are encountering them and they can be one of us.

Bright Lights, I terribly hate it, it pierces my eyes. I don’t like high noons, that’s why I have to bring a pair of shades for those days. But last Friday, I lost my favorite everyday sunglasses so I have to take this whole week without those pair of shades. I can buy a new pair, but I have to save some money because of the fare hikes since my salary has not been raised yet. So the Monday I went to work, the sun was too high and the light pierces my eyes, it’s not that I am not used or afraid of lights, but I just hate bright lights. I don’t know why I hate it. But then I looked up, and saw the blue skies and those amazing clouds, I am always amazed how the sky look likes. "It’s a painting of God"  I always say to myself. Man can’t do those kind of artwork that will change every minute of the day…

The point here…
Ok now let’s get to the point and let’s stop from the figurative view. What I’m trying to say is, every man is always seeking for the bright side of life. Since we always experience and remember the dark side of it, we tend to become pessimistic. We always see the different problems and turmoils of the society and environment we are in. We never see the blue sky behind every storm clouds we see up there. Have we find that having a terrible boss is a once in a lifetime event. Or have we find that the accidental heavy traffic we experience today doesn’t happen everyday. We always find those times as a bad experience, and we never took it constructively. Have we ever thought that our misfortunes are actually the adventures of our lives? This adventures (or misfortunes) are like mountain hiking, rock climbing, bunjee jumping of our lives, occurs seldom but memorable. This is the bright light that pierces our eyes that we our looking for during our darkest times.

Goodbyes and separation is the hardest thing to do or be felt by one. Even it’s for the betterment or plain goodbye is a painful and saddest moment to be encountered.

I have two colleagues who have left the company, one has become close to me. We’ve been colleagues for the past nine months, and with those timespan we became friends. How it happened? We are just sitting side by side. Normally, in every company colleagues remain colleagues till the last day, but in our office, since it’s just small and starting, it’s nearly impossible for us not to get along and know each other. The moment she resigned I felt sad but at the same time happy for her, because I know that a brighter career is waiting for her outside of our all-boxed office. But now, I feel so deeply sad, because now I’m here in the office working alone. Though, there are other people here, it’s like, it was never the same without her. I miss the way we worked together. Even when she gets moody in the morning, our constant bickering about the works, the clumsiness we both have, it has always been better that way than to have nothing at all. Yes, I can work alone, but with no companion or a comrade to be with just saddens me. This was the same how I felt when my friends graduated in college earlier than I do, then the next semester I have to study alone again. I can move alone, I can do things alone, but I never wanted to be alone. Going solo, makes me all boxed up. It makes me feel powerless without any friends to be with. As what the saying says, "No one is an island."

I am happy for her because she made a better choice in life. Though sad, my optimism will always be there. I just need adjustment and time to cope up with this loneliness. But for sure, I will miss my friend and colleague. Once again, I thank her for the memories we worked together.