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Monthly Archives: December 2006

I am extremely bothered with the news I have heard. I can’t tell it yet because it is not yet confirmed. But all else is repeating again. I don’t want it to happen this time. This situation make me feel that I am a jinx. I do hope things will be better, this can’t be happening twice. Why is it repeating? Please don’t.

I wish I have never heard it. I hope it will never happen. I should have not listened. It’s bothering me. I want to forget it. I need to remove it to my system. Or perhaps, forget that news. Why is this happening? Not now. No. Never. Please!

Christmas is almost near. Do I see any signs of it coming? No. Do I smell the Christmas scent? No. Do I hear Christmas Carols? Yes, and they are in front of our gates banging their handmade snaredrums and tambourine made up of beer caps. And yes, they are not singing, they are one heck of kids rambling with their high voices singing “Kay sigla ng gabi…” in a boring tone, ironic. Shall I give them a coin? Of course not, I will just wave my hand, or put my hands on my waist and shout “Tawad!”

Christmas is near, but no one else seems to notice it. El Niño is meddling with the country’s weather and making this season to be more like summer. MERALCO affects Christmas as they continue to impose higher charges with our consume of electricity. That’s why houses are now less covered by their camouflage of chasing lights, well, except for those people who can spend a year’s meal of the less privileged. Catastrophes by the sisters Reming and Seniang made our kababayans a-should-be-happy-christmas worse. Luckily, Con-Ass has been trashed or else things will be worse this season.

What remind us of Christmas are those 13th month pays and the bonuses that we are all waiting for. Some are unlucky because they have received their 13th month pays earlier this year while other companies have less sales that makes bonuses to be unclear and impossible. The budget we make as we divide our salaries for the gifts to our inaanaks, the food to serve during the Noche Buena, and the monthly bills. The booze that overflows in every Christmas party signalled us of the occasion. That is what Christmas is made of now.

I don’t say that Christmas Spirit is completely lost. It is still there. Each Christmas celebration is memorable, it depends to us on how we will celebrate it. How will we make our Christmas memorable in the middle of the crises we are having? Will it be a Merry Christmas?

Let us wait for that day.

I have my phone now, Moto SLVR L7. I was craving for it many months ago, and I couldn’t believe I have it now. I know that my phone is not as flashy or as expensive as others but the hardship just to attain that phone is really worth it. I am really proud of myself. the feeling of getting one’s goal is really fulfilling. My emotions as I am using this phone is really exciting. It is often for me to have something what I really wanted, I always end up to the next best thing, which is not really satisfying. Now I had a taste of it, I need to rethink my new goals. It will really be helpful. I have achieved some of my goals this year, gaining weight, saved some but not a lot, and now a phone. I didn’t have the chance to grab a girlfriend this year, but what the heck, i still achieved a few. And my blogs are really doing well by giving some cheers to others.

The year has not yet ended, we don’t know what is yet to come. Good luck to me and to all of us!

Last Saturday, we painted our house beige and pastel orange. It will be costly to hire painters so we did the painting by ourselves, me, my brother and a cousin. My mom and my aunt helped in preparing and disarranging the fixtures to ease our workload. While my pet dog, a minpin, constantly bark because we caged him.

My roller ran smoothly over the used to be mint green walls. As the paint covered the dirty walls, I found memories written over it. I was in highschool back then studying in a private school in Malate. I would wake up at 5:30 am and did those morning rituals, eating breakfast, taking a bath and wearing those preppy school uniforms. It would take about an hour of preparation before the school service would fetch me at home.

During those early years, I would stare blankly at those walls while churning my breakfast. My breakfast was usually something fried that I could also bring to school. My meals were redundant, fried chicken, hotdogs, omelettes, meat loafs, etc. The list was too short and I was tired eating them, imagine grinding the same meal during lunch which was also served during breakfast.

Those memories were now hidden under these layers of paint. The dirt caused by the street fumes was less visible as I put on layers and layers of paint. My rollers kept on running smoothly over the walls erasing all the marks of the past.

The painting was finished last Monday, details and all. The living room and the kitchen were brighter than ever. There were no more marks of dirts on the wall, but the memories would remain and lurk behind the fresh new paint.

“It’s a new house” I say, but no, it’s the same apartment we’re renting, covered and freshly painted.

What’s my purpose in life? I guess everyone is asking the same question. We all ask for our purpose and everybody is in the pursuit of their happiness. Will I be happy if I will become rich in the future? Will I create something memorable in this planet? I have one life to risk, yet nothing happened great as of this moment. I maybe working, but will my life will always be like this? What adventures await me? I want to live a life full of adventure, where I will forget all the troubles here in the city, the poisons from our daily meals, the corruption of our politicians, and the expenditures of those elites. I crave for a place of peace and happiness, where money is not a necessity, where boredom does not exist. Is heaven the only place where absolute joy exists?

I want to spend my lifetime full of events, not just being laid back and wait till my body decomposes on my seat. I like to explore the world and the things I have never done before. If God only let me born in with a silver spoon, but I was not. But money is only a cause for procastination, and I will not allow that to happen. I will not just sit here and wait for my death bed to appear in front of me. I will spend this life with silly adventures and laugh all the rest of my life. I know I can do it, I just need a way to start it.