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While I was on my way to work this morning in the jeepney, a middle-aged bearded Caucasian climbed up and sat near the front seat. He reached his payment to the driver. When the driver was returning his change he rejected it and said he could keep it. “He is a good man” I thought. While I was listening to the musical hubbub of my thoughts, the foreigner gave the driver a business card then next to us, his co-passengers. I had my eyes on the card, it was a business card of a ministry but when I saw the back of the card, I almost burst into flames. The back of the card contained verses of the Bible which made me feel like I just gulped a Tabasco or ate a jalapeño.

When was the last time I went to a church? I really can’t remember. In fact, it’s not a part of my routine to visit any sanctum every Sunday. I studied in a Catholic school during my elementary and high school but only the compulsory first Friday masses of the school were the only routinely devotion I was attending before. When I stepped my foot on college, that was the start for me to become a freelancer of faith.

I am only going to church if there are occasions that is needed to be held there, such as weddings, funerals or being in the list of gift-givers by Christmas time. I think it has been more than a year since the last time I entered a church. I have this feeling that when I get inside a church, it’s either I will be suddenly engulfed by flames or my presence will burn down the structure. Don’t get it wrong, I am not diabolical, a pagan or a satanist—partly I guess.

I am a traditionally baptized Catholic, but I am not devoted. I don’t want to be categorized in any sect. It’s not me who attend any fellowship meetings or visit the church regularly. I like living a life which only I and some people around me to prohibit my action. I have faith but it’s based from different doctrines and teachings. Whether it’s from Catholic, Agnostic, Islam, Jewish, Judaism, Confucianism, Taoism, Hinduism, Marxism, Communism or any other isms and sectors, it doesn’t matter to me as long it’s for the general good. I extract the good things and study the other teachings that are quite contradicting with my ideals. How I wish I can also extract these churches’ wealth.

Enough with the faith talk for now because I feel my ass burning a hole in my chair. Let’s just sing to George Michael’s Faith or for a modern feel, the Limp Bizkit version of the same song.



  1. I like the Limp Bizkit version of “Faith” 🙂

    Nope, you’re not going to “hell” if there is such a place. We all have our beliefs and we should just learn to respect that. It’s just unfortunate for some hypocrites who teach that we should accept that there’ll be differences among people but would condemn those who do not share their beliefs. They’re missing a lot of opportunities to be truly happy 🙂

  2. We welcome you Agent Grey hahaha. *evil grin* 😀

    Believing that there’s a hell is like believing that fairies and unicorns exists.

    I don’t know if you’re familiar with ‘tabula rasa’ but humans are innately good and rational so just live your life based on your instincts and what your mind tells you.

  3. Teka… am I reading myself? Totally, I am having the same dilemma as yours. Perhaps I’ve been agnostic due to my crave for so much reading. Ignorance is bliss–oh, I dunno if anyone would get offended by that.

  4. Doc Tess,
    That’s also the reason I find it troubling with any religious sect. If that’s the real case, then all humans will go to hell definitely.

    Tabula Rasa is actually the same title of our short film in college. Anyway, I never believe that we are innately evil, I always see everyone naturally good.

    I don’t take it as a dilemma. I find it easier to extract the good from different perspectives.

  5. You took the words right out of my mouth somehow.

    I’m not that religious but I find some aspects of every world religion that can be put to good use. It also widens my imagination since each religion is unique in a way, which can be handy for an artist like me.

  6. Church going has really become a tradition for me because of my family so whenever I miss a Sunday of church, I feel really dirty and sinful. It’s weird because I don’t even consider myself religious, nor spiritual. I guess it really just got carried away because I grew up with that kind of mindset and it’s gonna be with me for the rest of my life.

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