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“Is that you’re wearing a necessity or vanity?” a friend asked me.

Earthlings’ basic needs before are food, shelter and clothes. As time progresses, the needs continuously increasing. We now need signature clothes, healthy booties, happy-boosting vitamins, 6-pack abs, upgraded gadgets, contraceptives and condoms. If the modern man only needs the basic necessities, will he mind if he’s wearing Armani? I do!

Our demands increase from time to time. We don’t need clothes, we need Gucci. We don’t need food, we need south beach diet. We don’t want a simple home, we need an architecturally ravishing mansion. We’re all affected by vanity no matter how much we try to say we are not vain.

We’ll not clothe ourselves with Ralph Lauren or Bench if our aim is just to wear them to hide our genitalia and pubic hair but to flaunt our bulging biceps, bricked abs, squeaky clean belly button and of course, to imply we our rich—in which I wish. If we’re not vain we will not mind if our beer bellies and balls sag on the floor, except if we will choose in what direction it shall fall.

I am vain too, I take care of my face and constantly checking mirrors if there are breakouts or just to say ‘hey handsome’ to my reflection. My regular visits to the gym is also part of my vanity not just because I need to strangle my opponents and pulverize them to pieces but also to have a good figure to kill girls with just a look—I’m not that buff yet. I pick my nose with my fingers regularly to clean my nostrils. I’ll be glad if somebody will ask me to do that in front of them to show how vain I am.

Human is vain by nature and only differ by levels. Some may even reach to the point that they are having an OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) or for men going to be metrosexual. There are also cases that they are not stopping to undergo numerous operations to have their desired look. Somehow I’m happy with the size of my dick but not glad to see a jungle down there. I badly need a Brazilian—the bikini wax that is… and the girl too.

So yeah, the answer to my friend, it’s also for vanity. We’re all vain. How vain are you? Who wants a Brazilian wax? It’s not a Brazilian’s earwax dummy!

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14 Comments

  1. I’ve always wanted a Brazillian. Oh shucks! TMI!!!!

  2. Juice,
    What kind of Brazilian? The guys or the wax? LOL.

  3. well, for me being vain is not that erm.. crucial. i just see to it that i can walk along the street decently without people staring down at me.

    How vain are you?

    i agree. that’s the right question to ask.

  4. I’m so vain, I probably think this post is about me….

    Wait…Isn’t that a song?

  5. Arnel,
    Yeah, always walk tall and look down on them.

    Jigs,
    What song?

  6. It’s Carly Simon’s song You’re So Vain which was then revived by Janet Jackson :p

  7. vanity=sanity?

  8. Juice,
    Okay thanks!

    Marco,
    Vanity equates sanity. Too much vanity equates insanity!

  9. i wouldn’t pass for vanity but i worry about my looks, although it doesn’t seem to show. this is not humility, for i would not pass for being humble, either. haha.

    i have to note that some people pretend to be vain, or at least being conscious about their looks, but they don’t seem to be aware that, whether they’re vain or not, there seems to be no difference. they’re so oblivious to their, excuse me, ugliness.

    i like armani. i like it so much i must scream it out. aaaargh.

  10. Sometimes Vain = Metrosexuals = Bisexual It’s weird though, making their nipples more pink haha!

    L.A: Am not vain.
    L.A’s Conscience: Uhm…Ok!

  11. I’m vain. To a small extent. I don’t care for the most part. Haha. Ewan ko ba.

  12. Hehe lahat naman may tamang “vanity” sa katawan.. although it varies from one to another.. it’s aesthetics and humans need it.

    too much Vanity? uhmm medyo OA.. kailangan din naman ng tao yung konting dungis.. minsan may “appeal” factor yun. 😛

  13. you honestly don’t know that song?! really? -JIGS

  14. Jigs,
    Yeah, I really don’t know… I maybe too young for that song. LOL


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