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The gang had furnished the plan of going to Bicol and all items and luggages were prepared. We all met at Maricris domain at Las Piñas at about nine in the evening of the 12th of April 2006. We ate our dinner there and we fleeted in two cars, car 01 (Toyota Revo) and car 02 (Mitsubishi Adventure) by about 2:00 am of April 13. I was in car 01 together with Anthony, Franco, Marco, Atan, Ana, Ethel, Nordan and their baby, Chanel. The other car (car 02) was composed of Maricris, Kuya Dan, Rainier, Niño, Sheila, and Ma’m Krisel.

DAY 1, APRIL 13, 2006 TRAVEL IN SWELLING BUTTS

It was a long journey towards Bicol and our butts are already swelling because of long hours sitting uncomfortably in our vehicles. The dawn was dedicated for small talks and lots of rest, while the day was for viewing and small siestas. The travel was very long and rough roads which made baby Chanel be vulnerable to motion sickness. She threw up a lot especially at Bitukang Manok and other zigzag roads. Our butts sored more when we came across the rough road. Only Anthony enjoyed that part because the seatbelt was poking hardly his butt and he admitted that he loved it. When we reached Camarines Sur, already in Bicol, Anthony said to us that when we didn’t see the Mt. Mayon ina triangular or cone, we weren’t a virgin anymore. It was a false belief though, but it could be used for teasing especially for me, a confirmed virgin.

Before we headed to Maricris’s home in Tabaco, Albay, we went to Mt. Mayon’s base first because it was along the way. Unfortunately, there were zigzags again going up to the volcanoes base, and as usual for babies, Chanel threw up again. When we reached the base, we went out of the vehicle having that amoy cenaculo. We had our pictures there with the volcano’s view. After that, we went straight to Cris’s home, where we would stay for 3 days, and arrived at about 6 pm of the same day. We unpacked, bathed, and took a rest.

Starstruck in Lucky Nine

Later that night, Cris woke us to have a walk in their area and buy some booze. We went inside Lucky 9 convenience store to buy there. I saw a group of kids, about 13 to 15 of age, they were sneekingly  getting a picture of me through their camera cellphones. The girls were intimidated so they ask their gay friend to get my picture. The gay asked "Kuya, pwede ba kitang kuhanan?" I was amused making me speechless. As we are heading the counter, the gay move closer, and I moved a lot for them not to have a clear shot of me. Atan then shouted and pointed at me "Starstruck yan!" and ran quickly out of the store. I was stuck inside because my items were still being punched. So the gay asked "Starstruck ka ba kuya?" I just ignored them and moved out fast of the store.

Birth of Berta

I was actually in no mood for booze that night. I just had a few shots. There were just a few of us that night because others preferred to sleep. We were Anthony, Marco, Atan, Franco, Sheila, Doms, Ethel, Maricris and his cousin, and I. Our group fram car 02 introduced Berta. This Berta was originally borned out of the our wicked and meanest imagination. We introduced Anthony as Berta. Berta was just like Darna, after drinking a booze she would shout Berta and turn to become a superhero, and if she wanted to change back she should shout Pwerta, which we all Filipinoes knew what it is. We were enjoying it really hard, especially for car 02’s group, because it’s one of our meanest secrets during the vacation.

DAY 2, APRIL 14 WATERS UNDER THE SUN

After two or three hours of sleeping and the last night’s booze was still floating in our brain, we woke up, ate breakfast and went to the beach in Tiwi immediately. The beach was so unpleasant. Black sands, not-so-clean waters and dirty facilities. A CR that has a nangangain-ng-tao appeal. Can you imagine that? It was a public beach, so what can we expect from a 2-peso entrance fee beach? We still enjoyed our time there, but we were not really satisfied because the water was also salty. After the beach, we head back to Cris’s house to have lunch and prepare for our next swimming destination; Amater.

Cold Water and Freezed Brains

The water in Amater was damn freezing cold and the rain was pouring hard that afternoon. We played Pinoy Henyo and Charade to make our swimming enjoyable. There were two teams, the Bertos, composed mostly of boys, and the Bertas, the girls. During the Pinoy Henyo, there was a lot funny and foolish things occured. During Cris’s turn, her item was sunglasses, she had to find out the clues by giving out yes-or-no-maybe questions, She said "Ginagamit ba ito sa mata?" Her group replied "Oo!", she answered back "Sumbrero?" It was really laughing matter. Another was Sheila, her item was the name Ana, Franco’s beloved, one of her questions was "Pangngalang pantangi?" We were all like "Huh? What was that?" Our team, Bertos, won overall by winning the sudden death match of Charade. The punishment for the losers will crawl underneath the legs of the winners, so the girls crawled underneath us, the only one had fun with that punishment was Anthony.

A NIGHT OF REVELATION

That same night we will have our booze again, and I’m actually in the mood this time eventhough very tired. We had one Jose Cuervo Tequila and three Gran Matador. While we were waiting the drinking to start, Al opened up his lovelife to Ma’am Krisel and I found out that this guy was a hopeless romantic. He was so romantic that he could give all the stars in heaven just to please the one he loved. I am also like that, knowing that I’m also a Taurean, just like al, Ma’am Krisel, and Kuya Dan it’s only that I didn’t have any lovelife eversince. Though Al’s story was sad and somehow one of the tragic love stories, it must be featured in Joe D’Mango’s Lovenotes.

I was wild that night and even tried puffing some smoke again (Eww, I really hate it). I was even grooving to my wildest move, especially when I played my rave CD’s. It was really fun, but I guess I overdone things because I almost spilled the meanest secret about Berta. That made my friends in car 02 alarmed of what I was talking about. Though, I still had my presence and never wanted to spill the beans, making them alarmed was not really a good thing.

After the bottles had been emptied, Doms opened up his feelings and his story of love. All of the gang gave their best comments and advices. We only wish that he would listen and try to do it for his own good.

DAY 3 CAGSAWA, SHOPPING AND "A DATE WITH TAD HAMILTON"

We woke up after four hours of sleep. The TV was open early in the morning so we watched a movie in HBO. HBO was playing "A Date with Tad Hamilton." We were all mesmerized by the heroin of the movie, so Mac asked me "Sino ba yung babae dyan?" I answered back "Siya yung babae sa ‘A Date with Tad Hamilton.’" Then he asked again "Ano bang movie yan?" I replied "A Date with Tad Hamilton." Mac was fooled and he laughed and then Ethel entered saying "Ay oo nga, siya nga yung babae sa ‘A Date with Tad Hamilton’" until that joke came circling the whole morning.

I had my moodswing that morning, so I didn’t really enjoy my last day in Bicol. We had picture taking in a church in Legazpi City, and then went straight to Cagsawa ruins to have our pictures taken in that wonderful site. They had lots of picture there, but I had less because (1) I was in no-mood (2) I didn’t have any camera brought except for my cellphone camera, which lacks enough details. Somehow I felt insecure because almost all had professional cameras, if not digicams, which I knew I still couldn’t afford to have one.

Souvenirs at yung PULA

After the piture taking in Cagsawa Ruins, there were souvenir shops outside the park. They shopped a couple of items because we were expecting more back in Tabaco City. The weather was extremely humid, kaya nga halos lahat nagwa-water-water na, and I in no-mood mode didn’t buy anything there in Cagsawa. Luckily, their prices were too high, though I wanted to buy a shirt and bag there. But one controversial item bought there was Nordan’s Pula. That Pula thing was somehow like a mesh-cloth or something, it was hard and rough. Nords originally aimed it to be as a carpet or a floor lining, but when he showed it to Ethel, it was completely useless. Or if there’s any use, we still didn’t know. We laughed at it until we got back to Cris’s house and Ethel, being maldita, teased Nords about that Pula.

Prepped Up

I was a bit back on my knees from my whole day moodswing. But was because I needed a couple of hours of rest and preparation of all my things. I finally recovered a bit there. I bathed and prepared to sleep, because all I knew I won’t be having enough rest the whole trip again going back to Manila. And I was right, I hadn’t have the sleep I wanted. Namamahay kasi ako, and Anthony farted the worst so I had to wake up and ove out of the room. When I got back and tried to sleep, I can’t catch it anymore.

DAY 4, APRIL 16 LONG AND WINDING ROAD

It was finally the day to return home, everyone had prepared their things and got their seats ready. We left the house at about 2 am that morning. And still I didn’t have enough sleep. I tried to sleep in the car with my travel neck pillow and my eye patch to get some sleep. I didn’t even know if I had slept along the road, but one thing I knew was it was damn freesing cold. You could see the fog outside your window, and when the window is open you could feel the extreme breeze. At 5 am, we passed by Camarines Sur, we saw the Salubong, it was amazing because it was my first time to see such a spectacular view like that. And after that, we were back in our cars and still trying catch a sleep or so. But as the sun rises, with the spectacular view of the mountains of the province I didn’t sleep anymore, because this would be my last day of this trip with my friends. I just enjoyed each moment in the car even if my butt was already swelling and my tendons were in pain. Everyone was complaining that. We were talking about different things, and gone back talking about Berta all the way until we got back in Manila. Until we realize, that the word Berta was also a part from the word of Adbertaysers (ad-BERTAy-sers). It was somehow karmic for us in car 02. We couldn’t take it.

Suffocation

Along the way in Labo, Quezon, there was a lot of zigzag and the place was entirely remote. Luckily, Chanel barfed only once this time and slept most of the hours. We had a stopover to buy softdrinks, but there was a foul smell in the car. It was suffocating we thought it was Anthony who farted because he was the one who farted worst, second was baby Chanel. Baby Chanel woke up and she said her new word, Yayay, preferring to Anthony. The smell was a bit gone and we drove again, after a few miles the foul smell was still there and stronger. Nordz checked baby Chanel’s diaper, and there was it. All those fecal matter was scattered all over her jumper, so we stopped again because they need to change it immediately. Everybody was out of the car, while the three of us, I, Atan and Mac was stuck in the back seat. Ethel was preparing Chanel for the diaper change and we are almost suffocated by that smell. Oh my it was very bad.

Heavy traffics

It was a very very long way because we traveled through the old road going back to Manila which was much longer and had lot of zigzag. We didn’t travel through the rough road because the old road was smoother. We didn’t expect that we had to cross so many mountains in Quezon just to get to our destination. And as we travelled more, we became more exhausted and became more praning due to lack of sleep. When we entered Candelaria and Lopez there were lot of traffics along the way, it added four more hours from our supposed to be 12 hours. We stopped by in Jollibee in Candelaria, Quezon to have our dinner. And as we go back travelling the way through Laguna, there were more traffic. T’was very exhausting, we just talk about Berta, and other nonsense things. The whole travel going back in Manila took us 19 hours, which makes us 24 hours without bath, nangangamoy-cenaculo na talaga kaming umuwi ng bahay.

IS THIS OVER?

Definitely our Be Cool sa Bicol was a success. An orgasm that reached its climax. I told them, Ang trip na ito ay parang sex, nakakapagod man pero masarap. I was devirginized from this trip, it’s not getting laid what I mean, my experience with this was my first time. I never had a long travel with my friends before. Though it feels bitin because it was only about four days, which we wished that it could be one week or more. Travelling and having a vacation with your dearest friends was an exciting adventure. This only occur seldom, and truly all lessons (if there are) and memories shall be kept forever, through those pictures and in our hearts.

NEW TERMINOLOGIES LEARNED

It’s not just experience we learned during this trip, we also learned new words here, it could be compiled in Adbertayser’s Dictionary.

Buray (bu-ray) n. female genital syn.  kipay, puday

Taling pagong adj. a description for worthless tying, bonding or knotting

Amoy cenaculo adj. 1 a smell of long travels 2 a smell mixture of sweat, sun, perfume, barf, poop, and bad breath

Nagwawater-water v. sweating profusely

Biology n. biography according to tuneng

Cunnilingus n. one type of oral sex

Utot ng Kulto adj. one kind of fart that smells like a burong labanos

Nangangain ng tao idiom  if a CR is not clean and smelly this is how you should describe it

Opinyon – bukas yon

Kongklusyon – sarado yun

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