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I woke up this morning in a terrible mood; tantrums as what they call it. I slept the night before and woke the morning still thinking about my job, maybe that’s why I have this tantrums today. And I have this stomachache that bothers me a lot, "a lot of thinking" I thought.

I am bothered by the current situation of our company, after hearing the new rules to be implemented next month, and a possible closure of the company I am in. I predicted this before, and now I guess it’s happening. I hope not. Jay and I were just talking about it yesterday during our lunchbreak, Jay asked "Do you think our company will stay long?" then I replied, "Countdown!" I paused. "How many months? Do you want to bet on it?" I told him. Then after lunch we went to the office and had a meeting with Ellen, she discussed the forthcoming rules and that there is a possibility that our company will be closed for a certain reason (I don’t want to go into details) and we may be absorbed by the sister company if our performance would go better.

These talks and upcoming events bothers me a lot. I always wanted to move on a different career. I was afraid to move on earlier because I have this life insurance to pay, I was afraid to lose it so I stayed here. I was in a cloud nine last week, I had a lot of optimistic thoughts but this week desperations eats my whole body. I have this tantrums and stomachaches with me. My thoughts of moving on in a better career begins to start again. I have qualms. I have doubts. I don’t want to decide quickly because I may regret it afterwards, though regrets is not in my vocabulary. If opportunity knocks for sure, I will grab it firmly. That chance is what I’m waiting for… or that chance is waiting for me…

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